I can’t help but be reminded of the campaign, “drink responsibly” aimed at reducing drunk driving. What if when we entered supermarkets there were signs stating “eat responsibly?” Who knows,  it might just slow down those shopping carts and give us a pause to think,  do I really need to buy this today?

On Sunday while I was gathering my gear to leave the gym,  a woman abruptly stopped drying her hair,  curiously looked at me and said, "have you ever noticed that when you're husband is out of town how your eating changes?"  Wow! …  this lady asked the right person since as a dietitian I find anything to do with food and eating of interest plus my husband and I have had several extended work-related separations over our 29 years of marriage.

After this woman posed her query to me,  another gym-mate Donna,  chimed in and said  "yes,  don't you find that when you are alone you eat so much less?"  I don't know about you,  but I do eat different when my husband is out -of-town,  but would I say I eat less? 

Isn't it amazing how our environment affects our eating. Everything from room lightning to whether we are in the company of others or partaking in a singular dinner,  can influence the foods we select,  the portion we take and how quickly we devour our choices. Solo dining comes with its own perils. Eating in front of the TV or computer,  or eating directly out of the food container/bag are somehow sanctioned with the thought "I'm by myself,  why bother to do anything special?"

Women in mid-life are especially plagued by this thought since we are pulled in so many directions. The thought of having an evening without your significant other and/or the kids and the last thing on our minds is to prepare a 5 course (or even a 3 course) sit down dinner for ourselves. Yet,   what if you gave yourself permission to treat yourself  to something "special"   to eat that night?  I don't mean Ben &  Jerry's  Mocha Monkey.   Special for you may be food that  you don't buy often due to price;  due to other family members dislikes;  seasonal available foods;  and yes,   food that may take some extra focus to prepare.

In my quest to develop a  "portfolio of extreme self-care personal practices"  for women in menopause,  I have accumulated a huge section under nutrition (of course I would). Besides the usual of drinking more water,  less processed foods,  and more veggies,  I have a sub-section entitled "mindful eating."  I was introduced to the concept of mindful eating in 2005 while developing a 12-week weight management program. I wondered if the participants would like this topic and was surprised to hear the comments when I presented it.

Several of the ladies told me that they tried the "homework"  exercise and realized they were eating their meal so quickly they really didn't taste it at all.  One of them said her husband was glad they did it together since they could both benefit from slowing down their NASCAR-speed like style of eating (almost a race to see who could finish first).  Another told me that she didn't feel like eating as much when she slowed down her eating. This translated into total less calories for the day without feelings of hunger at her heels during the night.

Mindful eating also includes other aspects such as,  considering where the food came from;  the "carbon footprint"   that it took to get this food to the supermarket;  the workers who "picked"  the food for your table;  and acknowledging gratitude for the food.

Getting back to the question posed by the my gym-mate,  do I eat less when my husband is gone?  My husband's last adventure took him to Alaska for 2 weeks and my clothes were no looser and I felt no lighter,  when he returned than the day he left.  I continued to prepare my favorite dishes,  in smaller portions;  treated myself to those healthy,  exotic-type salads at Whole Foods (beyond my weekly food budget when I'm feeding two people but also less waste that buying a head of lettuce and all the extras) and tried a few new gluten-free frozen dishes. 

There were several "payoffs"   for continuing to eat healthy while solo-dining .  First, I looked forward to trying new foods and having them in my "Rolodex for last minute meal ideas."   Second, the scale didn't go up!  Yes,  I didn't fall into the "sit in front of the TV with a container of Haagen Dazs  mode"  of telling myself   "why should I bother,  it's just me to make dinner for." 

The bigger question I would ask is  "if you can't carve out a few minutes to make a healthy meal for yourself, what other self-care rituals have you said "why bother"  to?  Treating yourself to a special food or meal when you are a solo-diner is a healthy part of an  "extreme self-care portfolio."  If you would like to hear more about how to develop your own self-care portfolio, contact me so we can start a conversation.

So tell me,   does your eating change when you are a "solo-diner?"

With appreciation,

Bonnie

Yesterday I felt breathlessness which for me is a mixture of fear and excitement. It can leave me almost "giddy" and sometimes even "fearless" which is a great reserve to draw on for future changes and challenges.

You may have experienced "breathlessness" yourself.  For example,  remember the first day after you landed your first job? Remember the anticipation of making a good first impression? Knowing that you have so much to offer your new employer yet you know it will take time for them to get to know,  trust,  and like you.

My moment of "breathlessness"   came yesterday as I pressed the "publish"  button and released my inaugural "Take Action 2 Wellness"  newsletter. I felt like I was on the first day of my job.  I hoped to make a good first impression … looking forward to starting a conversation with my new acquaintances and getting to know them better to learn how I can be of service to them.

My job (passion)  is to assist women in mid-life (women nearing or in menopause) to discover how their everyday choices can lead to optimal health. I know this concept to health sounds simplistic and yet,  the devil is in the details (and the follow through).  Between my education,  three decades of client experience,  and  my own "trial and corrections"  I offer a specialty in the management of weight;  matching personalities to fitness plans; and developing a program of extreme self-care that a woman can benefit from for years to come 

My recent E-Book is for women who want to outsmart mid-life madness and is written based on my perception that mid-life is often fraught with "madness."  We are either at our peak time or winding down time for our careers;  grown children are leaving home or boomerang kids returning;  we are in a role reversal with aging parents;  we are establishing new roles with significant others all while our bodies are staging their own "madness"  upon us. 

This could be viewed as the "perfect storm"  yet I prefer to see it as the perfect opportunity to reach deep inside and see what we find. I've come to recognize mid-life as a great equalizer for women in that we may be standing on different economic steps but we are all standing on steps that lead to similar experiences with our bodies,  minds,  and spirits.  

No matter where you are in mid-life,  things are changing whether or not you are ready for it.  Some of these changes lead us to that feeling of "breathlessness"   – which makes us feel alive and say  "OMG,  I did it!"

So yesterday,  when I pressed the "publish" button,  I had my "OMG moment."   The fear that no one will read my blog out weighs the excitement I feel whenever I work with women to help them with with their "big moments."

When was the last time YOU had your "breathlessness moment?"

I'd love to start a conversation and hear your thoughts. Be the first (or second) and share your breathless moments.

With appreciation,

Bonnie

First dates are so awkward.  Where should you meet?  What should you wear?  How much should you divulge?  What is you want a second date?  Should you ask your date out again?

That's how writing my inaugural blog posting for my site feels to me -  like a first date,  indeed,  a blind first date! I have so much to share with you yet I know that first we have to start slowly to get to know each other.

Let's have our "first date"  at our virtual coffee shop,  the neighborhood type where the barista knows us by name,  our "fav" drink and the chairs are made of Italian leather where we sit down and "melt together" in comfort for the next few minutes.

I will start with introductions. I'm a woman in mid-life (in menopause) and I've discovered that I have a passion for helping other women (like me) learn how to outsmart mid-life madness. I like to say that I  "aspire women to learn how simple,  everyday choices can make them feel healthier and happier without chasing the latest diet or fitness craze." 

You may ask,  "how do you do that?"

I smile and say "let's just say that as a woman in mid-life, I know how menopause "changes" everything. With my life-long career as a dietitian,  sprinkled with my certifications as a personal trainer and wellness coach,  I have discovered the steps to go from feeling menopausal misery to what I call "meno-essence."  Then I stop myself;  have I divulged too much too soon for a first date?

You sit back and inquisitively ask "can you help me get out of my menopausal misery?"  I lean forward and say  "sounds like we could use a second date to continue this conversation."

So as our date draws to a close, the question is "will we meet again?"  I hope we do so we can start a conversation on what's stopping you from becoming a woman who has overcome the challenges of menopause and stepped into your new spotlight of meno-essence.

Talk soon…with appreciation,  Bonnie

P.S. Don't forget to sign up for my FREE E-Book to "Discover the 5 Strategies to Claiming your Meno-Essence."